Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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