we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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