didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
