so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
