I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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