hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
