dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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