We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just had sex bonerless
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
