Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
