btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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