What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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