covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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