Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
