No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
