He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
