I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
