I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
