There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
