It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
