Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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