Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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