Michael Bay diarrhea
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
