Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
