She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
