Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She even gives head with a lisp.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
