how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
