That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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