U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
