the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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