Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
