Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Randomize
