walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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