the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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