It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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