my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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