It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
