i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
