Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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