He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
