you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
