So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
