how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
