You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
