i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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