i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
ttyl tear gas
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
