a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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