best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Someone stole a lamp last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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