First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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