I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
