we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
